dancing through life..

world of kai

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can't run anymore, I'm tired.
kaimeg
Read some of my journals and man can I be more ashame of myself for years. Such a baby. Love controlled my life and happiness for so long and I never even noticed it? What am I really.

Few things I've realized this past month. I have to be happy by myself. Not that I want to be a loner but, I've realized that I am happy even if I'm alone or just by myself. I've always imagine my life would suck if I am alone (literally), but guess what, I was never alone! I have my loved-ones and friends who loves me as much. When I was in australia (by myself), I thought I'm unhappy because I'm alone, but why am I pulling everything just for me to go back? I loved my life there. So I guess I was happy, maybe I'm just feeling sad because as imperfect people can be, we are never contented, always looking for something that will make us happy. I didn't realize how happy I am back there until God lead me back home.

Aside from the silly fact that I don't want to be alone, all my life I've also thought that without a "boyfriend" my life would be miserable and lonely. I know. I'm so lucky to have ever felt that. I know I'm a genius. And yes its also true that my weakness is, apparently, LOVE. Falling in love so easily and falling out? Takes time. I mean really takes time. So I guess I have to face my fear now. Unless I want to skip reading a book halfway and get another one. This will never end. And it will just going to get worse and worse each time. I'm tired.

Now, I'm not really happy. Because I have done it again. Lucky me.


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