i fell in love so deeply that i have almost forgotten how to breathe. it took me years to finally get to my senses. then someone rescued me by showing me how it feels like to be free, completely that even i couldn't help it. And so, i know now how to breathe even better than before, but i forgot who am i and made bad decisions and got me where i am right now. it was hard for me, i couldn't bear the pain, thinking that the one who saved me when i was down is not for me. And eventhough it was the happiest time in my life, coz i can say, i did it alone, and im very proud of it. it was the first time that i became completely independent. needing no one but myself.
when i arrived back to Phils, it was very hard for me to recover. i died. i dont want to be like the weak guy before, im stronger now as far as i know so i have to make choices and wise decisions. i chose to be happy in the quickest way i can possibly be. so i did it. at first it feels like i made everything much more complicated. its like im being unfair to the world and that includes me. i was smiling yet crying at the same damn time. i look at myself in the mirror and i was wasted. a rubbish actually.
suddenly, i can see myself smiling and as day passes by so fast, and the world smiles back. now, its almost two months and im happier everyday. the pain is deteriorating each day. and im hoping that the day will come that the pain will go to its natural death, just like when i have learned how to breathe again =)every minute i feel complete, not only because the pain is decreasing and not because of other people, but because i feel content. thats it. the thing that i have been looking for in the world all these years. i feel so blind and stupid that i didn't think that all i ever wanted in my life is just next door. its funny how things go all wrong and all of a sudden makes you so damn happy and everything feels so right its hard even to believe it.....
if i didnt experience all those, i would not hit the jackpot! hehe
- misfortunes lead to fortunes